Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
