I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
