So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
