dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
