i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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