those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
