you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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