when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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