I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
