What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
