so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
