I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
