I'm so fucking centered right now
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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