we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
