You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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