I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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