I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
