wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
