i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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