If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
