You're so nebulous sometimes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
