she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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