Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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