the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
