hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
