He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i dont even know how to be here
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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