He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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