STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
