My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
