Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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