woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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