Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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