I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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