well I can't set my house on fire every night
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
