pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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