Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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