i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
