i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
