Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this beer tastes like vomit already
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
