You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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