we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
