That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize