it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
