Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize