marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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