My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
