Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
