does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He better not be in your backpack
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize