I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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