I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize