The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
