i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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