i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
