you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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