Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
from now on my penis is your penis
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
