he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
