Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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