You can't motorboat a personality
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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