We're facebook friends in real life
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
