that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
