I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
