Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
