im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My feet surprised me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Pooping to opera.
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