Jerry, you need to find god
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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