so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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